Oregon

A friend recently poised the question (paraphrased here) as to whether a person, in the course of life, would choose an easy road or a difficult path. Such question may very well be what defines a person’s life. Does not everyone face a similar question at some decision point (or points) during their life time? Which path would you choose, given a view of the horizon that each direction may provide? Are you certain that at a critical time the choice made would reflect your answer to the previous question?

As I sit here and consider such a question among the other recent events in my life I can’t help but wonder if I will make the decision to which I would like to say I could – does that make sense? This is to say that would I become a hypocrite given a certain situation and a decision to make?

And should not a second question derive from the first in an effort to define what is “easy” and what is “hard”? Who can delineate the significance of such words except for the person facing them? Is not the definition of “easy” and “hard” simply a reflective look within the person? One man’s battle may be another man’s day on the beach. Yet a person could become so enthralled with the defining of the “easy” and “hard” paths that the thinking and wondering involved with the pondering of each could become a stagnant crossroad of inaction and apathy. I would suppose that a person, following careful and purposeful consideration, must pursue action and not ponder for the sake of second guessing. I hope to pursue action but must first consider the paths that stretch onto the horizons – the crossroads at which I sit has become familiar, yet I do not desire it to become comfortable as I cannot stay much longer as the future waits for no one.

It’s a beautiful sunny day outside here in Forest Grove, Oregon as I sit in at a corner study cubicle at the library (a very pleasant and new facility) on the campus of Pacific University pondering the last few days, and months of life. The reflection on this recent past is an effort to define the future – to shape the choices and attitudes which the future can or may hold. Not only this but included herein is also the consideration of the how the recent events and explorations of late may have significant impact on the future.

This past Monday and Tuesday were quite full. I will not go into detail of the day’s events, just as I will likely not go into detail upon which roads travel out before me at this crossroads. I desired to reflect little upon the day’s events since then in a manner deeper then hitting the replay button in my brain. Suffice to say that the days were an opportunity to explore, considering a future in certain situations, seeking God’s guidance in the paths ahead, and to share in the joy of a friend.

It now becomes time to make a decision – to seek action and pursue what’s next. It is exciting and will be a new experience. What it is yet I do not know, but ask in a month and I may have a better idea. I choose not to write about the specifics as I don’t quite know how to word them, nor do my thoughts on matters at hand continue in a consistency that putting them down in written (and public forum) would require. I do write though to seek clarity in my own mind. If there is one thing to learn from this blog – one thing that I could take away from the blogging experience – is that writing has become a manner of providing clarity to my jumbled brain, seeking peace in the midst of the cauldron of thought, providing an outlet to emotion and a form of therapy, and finally, providing another route to which I may pursue the Lord.

As my fingers run over the keyboard and provide a sketch board for the wandering musings of my mind, heart, and soul, I continue to ponder and consider continuing my rambling onto another tangent, yet such ramblings must wait for another day and another writing mood (which ebb and flow). I have run out of things to say for now, perhaps precipitated by the fact that I do intend to drive up to Tacoma this afternoon at some point (this post will not appear on the blog until arrival there), however, there is one brief topic to cover before I part with this post.

It strikes me that life does not arrive at its end on its own. It is driven to that end by the person who lives it. And so the question should derive as to where are you driving your life and for what reason? Are you in control or is something beyond you in control of your life and the road upon which you travel? Look, I don’t pretend to know all the answers in life, nor all the questions to ask, however, I do know that there is a question which continues to be present in my mind, or rather a series of questions, one derived from another. That is, where is Christ in the midst of life? How does He fit in? What does it mean to follow Him? It is a question similar to these that I believe we all must come to terms with at some point in life regardless of whether or not a person believes in God – the overreaching question becoming what is the meaning of life? Why am I here and what do I do with my life?

There is so much to say on any of these questions or related topics – literally thousands of books have been authored pursuing such answers. I won’t attempt to answer these questions for you or pretend that I even know the answer to all of them (however, I do believe I know the answer to some of the above questions and logical derivations). The point of my writing this is to say that while I know many things in life are uncertain and while there will always be a question without an answer life should not be carried out in such a way as to stumble over the questions that are difficult. Pursue the difficult questions. I can’t tell you where you will end up, but I believe that your life will be driven to an end that is far more certain than having not taken the necessary turns to seek out the answers to the hard questions. Life is short and we know not when the end of our road may be reached.

My plan is to pursue the Lord for as He promises “[a]sk and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8) The last few months have precipitated what the many past years have continued to build. There is something within me that is changing to which I cannot describe. I am drawn in directions I didn’t think possible. My desires have changed and my ideas of the future continue to morph. As a wise friend once observed (and I paraphrase here) the experiences of a person cannot be fully understood by others, an person’s experience is that person’s alone and full understanding may never be reached by an outsider, yet a similar experience may provide insight that discussion and images could no. And so I say get out there and experience life for yourself – pursue God and hold on.

I don’t know what’s next but I have faith and that faith must now meet with action in the decisions of the future.

Squarebanks

I don't know why Fairbanks is sometimes referred to as Squarebanks - maybe it's one of those nicknames that a person uses without any clue as to it's real meaning or origin. Anyway, I use it (maybe I am the only one that does...) and in a loving way.

Fairbanks is a great place, a little cold in the winter, but, nonetheless a grand place to live. Now, there are certainly people that would care not to live in Fairbanks and that's fine. Many people who live in Fairbanks would probably not care to live where those other people would.

To those brave souls who would desire to live in Fairbanks I have a few thoughts to pass on based on my recent experiences there. Fairbanks is cold and dark in the winter and hot and bright in the summer - its akin to a town with a bi-polar seasonal disorder. It had already begun dipping to twenty below zero at night last week while I was visiting - not to far out of whack from the historical perspective - but maybe just a tad. In any case I think the secret to coping with living in Fairbanks is dealing with the winter - that's been my experience anyway.

1) It's gonna be dark in the winter months. Get outside in the sunshine whenever possible. No, get outside period - dark or light. Just do it. (The northern lights can be pretty spectacular during those dark hours.) And, if you can afford it and/or need it, purchase a quality "sun" lamp and use it daily - it makes a difference.

2) It's gonna get COLD. Prepare for it. Purchase a down jacket with a ruff and use it. Spend the little extra money to get the quality cold weather gear and get a warm hat! If possible, use a garage for the vehicle and outfit the vehicle with extra warm clothes, survival gear, engine warming accessories, and an auto start if you can afford it.

3) Be social. Get involved with activities outside of work (and don't work all hours of the winter day!). There are many activities through churches, clubs, organizations, etc., for which to become active. Or, if you have kids, get them involved in something. Don't sit around at night and watch TV - just killing brain cells doing that!

4) Get out of the house. By this I mean be outdoorsy, get involved with activities, get together with friends for card games, or simply go out to eat and to a movie with friends, family, or your spouse. Don't let the cold and dark limit your thinking about getting out of the house - just prepare for it.

5) Plan to do things on the weekends or your days off that involve something other than cleaning the house or catching up on bills. Get something in your schedule to look forward to.

6) Get outside. Yeah, so I mentioned this a couple times already. I think it is important enough to mention again. Just get outside - I don't care if it is thirty degrees below zero - just do it. Go hop on a snowmachine (okay, maybe not at thirty below), take a walk, or just a drive on a sunny day, get and stay active.

So, those are thoughts off the top of my head on how to make it through the Fairbanks winter. Summer is awesome. If you have a problem with the Fairbanks summer (besides the mosquitoes and wildfire smoke) then it really is time to consider moving. I don't know of a better place to be in the summer than in the Interior of Alaska. Yeah, I know Fairbanks is lacking mountains, but Denali Park is only two short hours south and there are the White Mountains only an hour northeast or so.

In any case I had been thinking such thoughts for the past year - you know, if ever I found myself living again in Fairbanks, what would I do differently or not do differently. Well, those points were some of my thoughts on the subject I suppose.

So, if you haven't gathered presently that I spent this past week in Fairbanks, well, then, that's where I was. The main thrust of the trip was to check in with work and then to follow up visiting a number of friends including my younger brother.

The week went very well and all points accomplished that were intended at the onset of the trip. The most important point being that I informed by boss and former coworkers that I would not be returning to work following this leave-with-out-pay period that is set to end shortly. Thus, this was simply an "official" resignation.

There are no second thoughts about this decision. I believe it to be the right decision and have a peace about this decision and the future it will bring. And so, with this decision and the recent PE test behind me, I now set off for an undetermined future...