Return of the Blog

Summer always moves by too quickly. As do the years.

I compose this most recent post from the Pacific Northwest, Tacoma area actually; a place where there is a certain chill in the air that was not here just a month prior. It is five days since I stepped off the plane delivering me (and others) from the Midwest.

Nearly a month has passed since I left for the Midwest States. I know, it’s hard to believe. The return from Cleveland, Ohio to Seattle, Washington was completed this past Sunday (11 Sep 2005). The days between the previous post (Wed, 8 Sep 05) and Sunday were charmed with one final house visit and then a few days in Cleveland enjoying friends and the final wedding of the summer (that I will attend anyway).

The wedding weekend turned out to be a grand event to cap off two and a half weeks of traveling across the Midwest. The wedding of Jason and Felicia was wonderful (okay, Jason may have had a few loose nerves) and held a beautiful beginning for these two as they began a life together rich with love for one another. It’s difficult to capture the experience of the wedding and of the entire weekend with this simple text; I believe a great time was had by all in amongst the visiting, ceremony, reception, and just hanging out. I do hope and pray that Jason and Felicia have many joyful years ahead of them.

Jason’s wedding marks the seventh occasion upon which one of a group of college friends was successfully married off. There are nine guys to which I am counting here (yes, including Jason #2 for those of you in the know trying to figure my math), so, only two bachelors remain. Certainly the weddings of the now married seven have been joyous events and wonderful events (although I missed a couple of them) – each with its own adventures and tall tales.

A rich aspect of the many weddings over the past five years subsequent to the first group of us graduating college (summer 2000) is that there has been at least one wedding for every summer following that has provided a mini-reunion of sorts; first it was Spisham, then Schrubs, followed by Jonboy, and now Blush. The reunions have provided face-to-face time for catching up with everyone, figuring out who is next in line for being led down the aisle, and giving one another a hard time (oh, let’s not forget finding out whose next in line with kids!). I completely enjoy the weddings, yet realize that I look equally forward to spending a day or two with friends discussing each others lives and finding out what is new and remembering the old.

It is true that I was happy to return from the Midwest as traveling nearly 3,500 miles in a span of eighteen days tends to wear thin. Yet, it was a melancholy return as the next opportunity to visit with these college buddies (and their wives) is, as of now, a bit of an unknown. Our email skills are not up to par and so, save big events, news of one another is few and far between (thankfully Hogg is an information gathering and distribution point of sorts – or at least he was prior to his current interest…). And so we are left with the remnants of an occasional email or spoken word to relay the happenings of one another.

The unspoken question is now who is next – Hogg or Woody (as I am known to the college buddies)? My guess is Hogg - it’s only a guess - but after this past weekend I don’t think a poor guess by any means… What do you think Hogg? And, so, this may leave me as the last hold out, or at least the last to walk down the aisle with a bride.

Now, why write about something a bit personal? Well, because it has become a captive thought and dream over the past months (not that it hadn’t been previously!) to unite with a woman in marriage. It is something that my brain has struggled with many times over the years and I know little way of dealing with it at this point other then to let it leak out.

Over the past few months attending four weddings the desire to find that one woman with whom I could share life with has been matched with the rather imposing challenge of going about such an adventure. I believe in the Biblical marriage and know that God has a plan for each of us in relation to marriage provided we involve Him in the process. Jason and Felicia are a wonderful example, I believe, of “a match made in Heaven” – in fact, they aren’t the only example that comes to mind.

But, how do the dynamics of this match making process work? Does it just fall into place and all the pieces just fit? Is marriage between two people something that will happen if “it’s meant to happen”? Or, is the process more involved and intertwined with aspects of building a relationship that seems less then destined for marriage? How does a person know when they have met the “one” or is finding the “one” a development of a longer relationship? How does one know if the feelings are mutual? How does a person know if God is involved in the process as He should be, as opposed to relying purely on emotions? Why aren’t the answers to love easier? Is love an action or an emotion?

Ahhhh! So many questions that probably vary in as many different answers as there are married couples.

Why can’t this marriage process become simple? Why can’t a person just wake up one morning and be married to their “soul-mate”? I think that I know a partial answer to some of these questions, but probably could not give a fully justified answer until I too am married, if ever. Certainly any number of conversations or heated discussions could sprout from this one-sided commentary on marriage.

I believe that the process leading up to marriage does involve some healthy relationship work and is not something that just falls into place (well, some of it may, but not in its entirety). I think marriage is a pursuit of both the man and woman involved, both of whom are seeking God in their lives and desire to have a partner in performing His work. I think that there are any number of marriage partners a person could choose, yet I believe there is that one “Best” choice to which God will play a significant part in that process. I believe that love is part emotion and a lot of action. Christ needs to be the center of the marriage for a truly lifelong marriage of love and joy.

Now it may seem silly to carry on like this on marriage, especially coming from a guy, right? Don’t you think that everyone thinks about this at some point? Well, maybe women more seriously then men, but certainly it is a topic in many a single persons mind. As time passes, it certainly becomes a seemingly more pressing topic. I have felt pressure from this dwindling time standpoint. There is also the implied pressure of parents asking leading questions or providing selected reading material. It would also seem there is an implied social pressure to get married – granted this has probably decreased in modern times. In fact, there is even an internal pressure to find that woman to marry.

However, it is not an exterior pressure for which a reason exists to get married in my mind. Rather it is a desire. A desire for a woman to share life with and to live life with; a partner with whom to seek and follow God’s direction in this life; a desire for a beauty (inside and out) to love and with whom to dream with...